Family Soccer Leadership Lesson

I had the privilege of spending time with our son Peter’s in-laws for Thanksgiving this year.  We had a time of reconnecting, great conversations, amazing food, some games and some physical exercise.  The family has a tradition of playing soccer after dinner on Thanksgiving Day.  With all that I ate during the feast I was very much in to a game of soccer.  I haven’t played soccer for at least 3 decades (that’s 30 years) but knew I could hold my own.  I have been working continuously since I was in the Air Force and am in pretty good shape.  This provided an opportunity to show everyone else what good shape I was in.  It felt good to keep up with the grandkids, and the other adults.  I could still block, steal the ball, made a score, use some strategy all the while NOT collapsing or falling down too many times.  I made a few scores and a few good steals and advances.

After the game I paused to think more about what had happened during the game.  Peter’s brother-in-law Brian was an excellent soccer player.  He was masterful in his footwork, passing, strategy and agility.  He seemed to be all over the field and I had a very hard time getting by him or taking the ball from him.  What was even more profound was that he only attempted two scores.  Not that he didn’t have the opportunity to make many more because he could have made multiple shots.  He spent most of his time setting up the kids to make shots,  helping them score, advance the ball, look good against these adults.  He was more concerned about their success than his own in spite of the fact that he probably could have won while being the only man on his team.  It was a sobering realization.  My need to prove myself often at the expense of others and his excellence deferred in favor of those who were not as gifted.  I couldn’t have missed the mark any more than I did.

It was a great lesson in leadership.  Dying to self and allowing others to get the glory was not in my thought processes.  Trying to get credit and admiration at the expense of those who are less gifted was a pretty dark response.  Having to prove myself to those who already know and love me was at least sad and at it’s worst pathetic.  How often have I done that as a leader in those areas where I am more gifted?  I look back on most of the times in my life where I could have let others shine and I realize that I just didn’t have the maturity to let that happen.  Shame on me…