Ambassadors in a Broken World

Elsie came in with an anxious countenance.  Her husband had been in mental decline for a number of years and it finally came to the point where she could no longer care for him and he needed to be placed in a ‘home’.  They have been married for 50 years and like most couples it hadn't always been easy. He was hard to live with but putting him in ‘the home’ was the hardest thing she had ever done.  On top of that there was the financial implications.  They had a nest egg set aside but the cost of ‘the home’ was more than she could handle.  She was a strong woman and had weathered much pain over the years but this was so overwhelming.

Barry had agreed to meet with her to go over her options.  He had some experience in dealing with the process because his Dad had been in a facility and knew the pain, confusion and difficulties that Elsie was facing.  He realized that she needed someone to talk to, someone to vent her frustrations and pain.  Barry had many things to do that day.  It was an unusually busy time of the year but he knew that this is one of those times when being ‘Jesus with skin on’ was more important than that report he needed to get to or the fundraising golf classic he was scheduled to attend.  It has his time to be an ambassador in a broken world.

            I found many opportunities to minister to people in the business context, especially the insurance business.  When tragedy strikes, catastrophe overwhelms and a life is derailed I am the one they could come to and find not just a financial help but also a listening ear, a compassionate conversation and a concern for how they were feeling and navigating the pain.  Having someone to help them navigate the contractor to call, the clean-up company to mop up after the firefighters had left, a hotel room to stay in and clothes to wear until they could get settled.  That goes beyond just the financial transaction.  It is empathizing with their pain and disruption.

        That's what it means to be 'Jesus with skin on', a real representative from the kingdom.

Is Good Really Good?

I recently had a conversation with a person who was struggling with some of the challenges of life.  There had been a serious illness, serious financial setbacks, and the garden variety issues that would be considered bumps in the road. We typically talk about good things in terms of how it makes me feel and how it makes my day.  It usually means going the way I want things to go, getting what I want, not having any problems or difficulties. Life is just good

The problem with ‘good’ is that nothing very important or ‘good’ comes out of ‘good’.  What I mean by that is I don’t grow or mature or get better if there are no challenges or difficulties.  If everything is going along smoothly and I don’t come up against an obstacle or struggle; I get complacent, rest on my laurels, kick back and coast.  That is okay for a little while but sooner or later I am going to be on the shelf, in a rut, and not growing anymore. 

 

            Ignatius of Loyola taught about consolation and desolation.  These concepts are profound and give us a new paradigm to see what is really good.  Ruth Haley Barton has a great definition for both “Consolation is the interior movement of the heart that gives us a deep sense of life-giving connection with God, others and our authentic self. Desolation is the loss of a sense of God’s presence; indeed, we feel out of touch with God, with others and with our authentic self. It might be an experience of being off-center, full of turmoil, confusion or even rebellion.  

         How I see my circumstances is so much more important than the circumstances themselves.  God uses all circumstances in my life to mold and shape me.  I can choose to be pliable like clay allowing his hands to push and move me the way he chooses.  An alternative approach I can resist and be like granite and  require chisel and hammer to chip and break me into what he desires for me.  Which way will you choose? The easy way or the hard way?

Seasons of Life

        We are in the middle of one of the more significant seasons of the year.  It is actually a season in a season.  The current climate season is winter with its shorter darker days, colder temperatures, inside activities.  But overlaid on that is the holiday season which actually started as early as late October in the stores this year.  Everyone seems to deal with seasons in unique ways.  Some people wait with expectancy for the season to come which includes a sense of anticipation, excitement, mystery, and hope all mixed together.  For others though it is the opposite; a time of fear, anxiety, stress and dread.

 

As I am now firmly planted in the second half of life I am very aware of seasons. There are physical and cultural seasons that we all traverse but there are also the personal seasons of life; those times in our lives where we move into a job/career, geographic location, family context or financial condition and then out of the same. These seasons often have a ‘stacking’ element where they tend to compound each other.  They are subtle in how they grow upon us, we are often unaware that we are actually in a season until it is past and we look back on it.

One of the hardest things about seasons is to let them be a season.  It’s hard to let go of them.  The seasons of consolation provide rich blessings that we want to linger in and revisit.  The seasons of desolation are difficult because they bring pain, despair and devastation leaving a lasting mark on us they haunt us well after they have passed.

The ancient book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3 talks about seasons.

A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

   

At my age I have experienced most all of these thoughts.  As we look to the new year its good to reflect on the seasons of our lives

Contentment

In a consumer based world, the success of the economy is based on those consumers buying more and more.  The money then goes back into the economy and gets turned over and over as it filters through the rest of the economy.  The last recession/depression we went through was largely based on consumers opting out of buying because they were concerned about having enough income to pay the bills etc.  That 'break in confidence' caused the market to slow down and ultimately collapse.  That is how capitalism works and it has been pretty successful for a long time.

The problem with it from a spiritual basis is that it is foundationally a 'greed and envy' based program.  I want to have what my neighbors have. Advertising has captured the thought by telling us that we can’t be happy without the latest car, clothes, toothpaste, or vacation destination and we believe that.  We go to great lengths to consume whether we have the resources to do that or not.  We use our 18% interest rate credit cards, where we pay the minimum balance and which continue to grow at rates far faster than we can handle them.  The old adage ‘my expenses ALWAYS equal or exceed my income’ is leading many to bankruptcy, foreclosure and a great deal of financial pain.

          The remedy to all this is the Ignatian concept of contentment.  It’s being satisfied with what you have and where you are.  It is not being swayed by the world telling you that you aren’t happy. It is about being in a place where you can accept where you are, not in a fatalistic sense, but in a way that allows for God’s work in and around you.  My desire is to be content and to avoid those situations that try to play to my greed, envy and avarice, especially during this Christmas season.

Family Soccer Leadership Lesson

I had the privilege of spending time with our son Peter’s in-laws for Thanksgiving this year.  We had a time of reconnecting, great conversations, amazing food, some games and some physical exercise.  The family has a tradition of playing soccer after dinner on Thanksgiving Day.  With all that I ate during the feast I was very much in to a game of soccer.  I haven’t played soccer for at least 3 decades (that’s 30 years) but knew I could hold my own.  I have been working continuously since I was in the Air Force and am in pretty good shape.  This provided an opportunity to show everyone else what good shape I was in.  It felt good to keep up with the grandkids, and the other adults.  I could still block, steal the ball, made a score, use some strategy all the while NOT collapsing or falling down too many times.  I made a few scores and a few good steals and advances.

After the game I paused to think more about what had happened during the game.  Peter’s brother-in-law Brian was an excellent soccer player.  He was masterful in his footwork, passing, strategy and agility.  He seemed to be all over the field and I had a very hard time getting by him or taking the ball from him.  What was even more profound was that he only attempted two scores.  Not that he didn’t have the opportunity to make many more because he could have made multiple shots.  He spent most of his time setting up the kids to make shots,  helping them score, advance the ball, look good against these adults.  He was more concerned about their success than his own in spite of the fact that he probably could have won while being the only man on his team.  It was a sobering realization.  My need to prove myself often at the expense of others and his excellence deferred in favor of those who were not as gifted.  I couldn’t have missed the mark any more than I did.

It was a great lesson in leadership.  Dying to self and allowing others to get the glory was not in my thought processes.  Trying to get credit and admiration at the expense of those who are less gifted was a pretty dark response.  Having to prove myself to those who already know and love me was at least sad and at it’s worst pathetic.  How often have I done that as a leader in those areas where I am more gifted?  I look back on most of the times in my life where I could have let others shine and I realize that I just didn’t have the maturity to let that happen.  Shame on me…